Part 13 - Something is very wrong!

For weeks after my double win, I was in another world. I just couldn't get over the fact that I actually achieved my goal. As I've mentioned before, I'm very goal oriented, and the only way I was going to maintain or better this physical condition was to set my sites even higher. Someone suggested to me that I should consider quitting while I was ahead. Was she trying to tell me something? Should I ignore such a comment and get bold instead?

The congratulations I received from my friends and acquaintances was overwhelming. I was in the gym two days after the Ottawa Championships pumping iron with renewed enthusiasm. Ed had promised me that he'd sponsor a new posing suit for the provincials and Joan was on board to make an amazing one. It's an expense that makes me feel a little pressured, so I tell him that I want to make my final decision in the new year. His response: 'go big or go home', if you're not keen to give it your all and earn the suit, then may as well just reserve tickets to watch the provincials. I have just a few weeks to decide. The Ontario Championships are scheduled to take place in conjunction with the Toronto Pro SuperShow on June 2nd, 2012.

New Year's arrives quickly and my training is going well. My New Year's resolution: Do what I want to do, go where I want to go, be who I want to be! I had decided nothing anyone says or thinks of my journey is going to affect me. Pooh to the person who suggested I quit while I was ahead. Heck, I'm just getting started! I decide to go for it.

But my life was about to change. In late January, Arthur Murray Dance Centre of Ottawa offered me a job as Front Desk Manager. It's the studio where I'd been dancing for eight years. I love it there and had told the franchisee, Marilisa Granzotto, two years earlier that I'd like to work for her if ever there was an opening. Now was the time, but first she had to wait for me to return from a prearranged vacation. Forty dancers were scheduled to go on a dance cruise together in early February 2012. So off we went for ten days of fun in the sun and dancing every night. Though there was a perfectly good gym on the ship, I never once worked out. Upon my return, I reported for duty at my new job. Until then, I hadn't worked for almost four years.

Me and my Ed

As for many people, starting a new job can be stressful. It was showing in my workout. My daily routine had changed. Working evenings was affecting my meal and sleep patterns. Getting proper rest and nutrition are important factors for an athlete. Having taken time off for the cruise, followed by breaking my rhythm in my training, my progress came to a grinding halt. Once I settled into the job, however, it got better and I was back to my old self, training harder and harder, longer and longer. But something was missing...or was there too much of something.

One day in March, I realized that something was very wrong. I was deflating physically and mentally. With only three months to go for the provincials, this was not the time to go backwards. On top of that, I'd been feeling sad and lonely. It was evident in my face and my body. It had nothing to do with the new job or my personal life. It had everything to do with my training. There was nobody at my gym actively competing, so I had no-one to share stories or techniques with. I do, however, get plenty of encouragement and feedback from my buddies there, Christian and Luc. As for Ed, he's a marathon runner, not a trainer or nutritionist. As a matter of fact, he doesn't even belong to a gym. He's a coach in many ways as he pushes me to keep going, but the rest is up to me. My workouts had become very routine. Training is like dancing, if you don't put enthusiasm into it, it becomes mechanical. I was simply going through the motions day after day.

It was time for a shake-up..........