Part 5 - The Outfit and Coming Out

Clarins Tanning Gel, Dream Tan, Pro Tan, Bikini Bite

It's essential to have a dark tan under the stage lights. The deeper the tan, the better the shadows on the muscle definition. Back in the 80s, we used Quick Tan which produced a very orange look. In my final year of competition, I switched to Clarins Tanning Milk. I wonder if they still make it? A visit to the Clarins counter saw me walking away with a fresh tube of tanning gel. After testing it on my mid-section for a few days, I realize that it's not sufficient for today's competition. What the heck is everyone using? Google research points me toward Pro Tan as a base and Dream Tan prior to going on-stage. A few clicks on my laptop and an order is placed with a company called Gorilla. My order arrives a few days later, along with a container of Bikini Bite, a gluey substance used to avoid wardrobe malfunctions. Things are starting to fall into place...so I thought!

Next I contact Sheilagh McDermott, a seamstress friend from the dance studio, and convince her to make my posing suit. It will be a first for her. There's someone else in town who specializes in posing suits, but I'm too stubborn to use her services due of my determination to remain a dark horse. We're excited about the project and have fun choosing the colour, material and design. Ed is just as excited about my adventure as I am and insists on sponsoring my outfit. These suits are pricy in comparison to an off-the-rack bikini. Thank you Ed!

My first competition outfit

It's June 25th and a group of us from Arthur Murray's Dance Studio gather for a fabulous evening at Obsession Lounge on St. Laurent Blvd in Ottawa. After dinner, I announce that I'm going next door to poke around the Adult Fun Superstore (AFS) and would anyone like to join me. Six ladies abandon their dates and stroll into AFS, some buy playful gadgets, others come out empty handed. I'm drawn into a far corner of the store by a display of shoes no-one would ever imagine to be my style. They have sex written all over them. I ask the sales clerk to find me a size 5 with a 3-inch heel. They're perfect, I'll take them! The others are likely wondering why I would go to a sex shop to buy shoes. Donna Dames knows me too well and pulls me aside to ask what's up. I tell her in confidence that I'm planning to compete in figure, fully expecting her to gasp...she doesn't. She instead smiles back at me with delight and expresses full support.

Okay so maybe it's not such a bad idea to reveal myself after all. I'd been secretive about my plans to compete believing that my friends would think me strange and narcissistic. Who did I think I was strutting in front of an audience in a bikini at my age? I was accustomed to hiding. Back in my bodybuilding days, I spent way too much time and effort defending the sport's poor reputation. The general public did not want to see a woman with muscles. They still don't, but at least now most can appreciate an athletic female form. And what if I made a fool of myself, how could I live it down? I'd been trying to convince myself that I should be proud regardless of the outcome...that's not good enough for me.

Article in local newspaper in 1985

Two more months pass and I finally decide that it's time to expose myself. Only close friends knew of my past. I rarely talked about my bodybuilding days for fear of a negative reaction. Some say that I should have been proud of my accomplishments, but I never really felt that way. There I was with a long list of credentials....a successful athlete trained by some of the best, a top promoter with at least 40 events under her belt, past Vice-President of the OPA, national judge with the CBBF...and I swept it all under a carpet for years. At times I would include the work experience in my resume then omit it.

Finally, in August 2011, after more than a year of preparation, I make an announcement on Facebook. It was a terrifying moment when I pressed the post button on my status line. I held my breath expecting a backlash. I've found that when it comes to Facebook, people generally don't say anything if they don't like something, but they love pushing that like button. It's comparable to coming out of the hairdresser with a new look and no-one says anything...you know for sure that it's a bad hairdo.

The likes and positive comments came pouring it. Whew...what a relief! Now I can proceed with more confidence. Now I can stop explaining to people why I'm on such a health kick. Now perhaps people will stop giving me such a hard time about my weight loss...NOT.

Ten weeks to go for the Ontario Natural Championships..........